J.G. MUNCHKIN! INSTRUCTIONS

Okay! Let's get one thing straight – This is not a game! THIS IS MY LIFE MAN!! All of my life it's been "K.C. this" and "K.C. that", all the time "K.C.!" Sure everyone who tried K.C. Munchkin! thought it was better than Pac-Man (Or at least the 2600 version) – that's why he made legal history and got his sorry blue butt sued by Atari. But I'm Glad!! He had it coming. All the time with that STUPID smile! HA HA HA HA!!! It's just enough to make me sick.

Then I finally had a chance to hit the big time. I signed a two-year contract with N.A.P. and was going to star in my own picture, "J.G. Munchkin VS. The Dratapillar of Venus." HA HA HA HA!!!! Then that little blue [CENSORED] stole my thunder! They said my voice wasn't "cute" enough, and they gave him the role instead and called it "K.C.'s Crazy Chase!"!

After that I developed this nervous tick HA HA HA HA!!! [CENSORED]. I was in the gutter while he was drinking margaritas with cute girls with small noses in the Florida Keys with Q*bert and Mario! HA HA HA HA!!!!

I've worked my way up through the Video Game underworld and I'm comin' to kick your [CENSORED]!!

So here it is in a nutshell. I will destroy the Earth. HA HA HA HA!!! You can TRY to stop me. Since I'm such a nice guy, I'll give you a few points if you shoot some of my stuff down:

WEAPONS PLATFORM

5 POINTS

These come out of the mother ship and toss everything they can at you.

SKUD

2 POINTS

Have you ever seen the movie Dr. Strangelove? Well if you have, you probably remember the ending where Major Kong rides a nuclear bomb like a bucking bronco to its target. "KABOOM!!!" HA HA HA HA!!! (I LOVE THAT MOVIE!) Do you remember how they had stuff hand painted on the bomb? Well I thought I'd let you know who's kicking your butt by painting my initials on each one. SO ENJOY!!

STARBURST

4 POINTS

These are heat-seeking weapons. – Watch out! HA HA HA HA!!!

MUNCHKINS

8 POINTS

These little babies are from my bio-weapons department. These little Munchkins land, track you down, and self-destruct. – VERY NASTY!

JOLLY ROGER

16 POINTS

The Ultimate Terror Weapon! HA HA HA HA!!! They Track You Down!

Oh yeah! I hear all of you people whining, "What about extra lives?" Okay, I'll give you something K.C. never would. You get two extra ships – you can tell how many you have by looking at the number of dots to the left of your score.

Well! there you have it. I can't wait to get even!